Trina Paul Bearden-My Friend

As most of y’all know, Ms. Trina has been very ill these past few weeks.  She has been fighting harder than anyone I have ever seen to stay with us.  At 12:25am this morning I received the call I have been dreading for weeks now.  Her daughter called to tell me mama was gone.  My friend and newly acquired “Mom” (she adopted me as her own a couple weeks ago) is now home with her mama, daddy and sister Corrie.

Paula Deen wrote to us all on Facebook a little bit ago:

Last night, Heaven gained another angel in my dear Aunt Trina. Not only was she my #1 fan, but she was also just like a sister to me, and I know that she became a personal friend to many of you along the way. Thank you so much to all of my friends and family members for all of your prayers, kind words, and letters of support. They’ve been such a salvation to me. God bless.

Love,
Paula

Truer words couldn’t have been spoken.  Trina was Paula’s number one fan.  Next to her own children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren, Paula was the light of her life.  And yes, she and Paula were like sisters growing up.  Trina was only 4 years older then Paula.  On my first visit to Trina’s, she told me how she used to be “down right mean” to Paula.  Picking on her all the time and making her do things for her.  She and her sister Peggy told me stories of their antics growing up too.  Peggy was the life guard at the pool they had at River Bend.  She said Trina and Paula would always swim in the deep end and scream for help like they were drowning.  Peggy also told me that she and her husband could never go to the drive-in movies  “without the two of them spoiled girls hid up in the back seat of the Packard”.  They were sisters and life long friends and Trina just adored her.

As we sat there together that first visit working on our recipes for our book, we went through hundreds of recipes and cook books.  She wanted to make sure we weren’t duplicating any family recipes that Paula had already published. At one point she was reading the dedication that Paula wrote to her in one of her cookbooks and she went silent.  I looked up and there were tears streaming down her cheek.  When asked if she was alright she just replied “ I was just so evil to her growin’ up, and she still just loved me like a big sister”. 

Y’all, Trina is my definition of a True Southern Lady.   She welcomed me into her home like I was family.  I never once felt like a guest  by her or any others in her family.  We sat up late many nights sorting through recipes and drinking wine.   She had a story for every recipe that she shared with me.  Stories of her children growing up and always asking for the same meals, cakes and cookies she asked for from her own mother.  The stories of her mother always having certain treats on the counter for their family.  Of how her mother always had fresh bread baked for her family.  I know we have all heard Paula talk about her Granny Paul, but y’all I was hearing family stories about Mama Paul.  Trina had such love for her parents and all they had accomplished in their lives.  Something that the generations of today take for granted.  I feel like I know them just from reminiscing with Trina about them.

That first visit was about the time Trina started really having her health problems.  It took us a bit of time to get around at the grocery store picking up all the things we were going to be cooking.  We seemed to go to the store almost everyday.   I can’t tell you all the amazing food that we cooked that week.  All of it was from her recipes.  All from scratch, and all delicious. 

I joked with her that I had the hardest time making biscuits that would rise correctly (I said it, it’s true.  Biscuits are my downfall).  I told her my great grandmother would be so ashamed.  She said that she was going to have her daughter show me how to make biscuits that night for dinner that would not fail.  So that night Charlie took me into the kitchen and had me make the biscuits following her directions.  Well guess what.  Trina walked into the kitchen as I finished, looked into the pan and said…..”well let’s hope they taste good”.   I was so disappointed that they didn’t turn out for her.  But she didn’t  throw the left over ones in the bowl to toss to the chickens.  Nope, they went into the biscuit container for breakfast the next morning.  I’m sure she just kept them to make me happy.  Just another example of this  True Southern Lady.

On my final visit with Trina I found myself alone in my thoughts and posted this on my personal Facebook page:

“It’s 3:30 am central time and I am sitting here watching my dear friend fight to breath. The house is quiet, her family exhausted and all finally getting much needed rest. I feel helpless because I can’t do anything but hold her hand now. I have watched her the past 36 hours struggle with her own pain, but also see the joy in her eyes having her children, granddaughter, and great granddaughter all close to her. There are so many emotions in this home right now, from pain to fear to anger and even times of joy. It has been an emotional roller coaster.

Before she fell asleep tonight Trina and I shared a glass of wine (which she got permission from her Dr. to do) and she gave me one last recipe she has been working on for me. Our journey is concluding just as it began. Although much to short, I am so blessed to have had this time with her and even more honored that she asked me to be a part of her life.”

As Paula said above, “Heaven gained another angel”.  Heaven’s gain is our loss.  I have cried many a tear today for my friend.  I’m sure I will continue to do so over the next few weeks too.   I just have to thank Mama Paul for her daughter Trina.  She added so much to my life and so many others.  She taught me new recipes that I will treasure for a lifetime.  She trusted me with some of her mothers recipes that she has never shared with anyone else.  But what she gave to me that I treasure the most was her friendship and love.  The last thing she said to me as I kissed her on her forehead and said goodbye was “I love you”.  I can still hear her words in my mind and always will. 

Rest in peace my friend.  Enjoy cooking with your mama till we all get there to join in.  I love you.

 

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